MESSAGE IN A DREAM - Part One from AJ Rasmussen 'Entrust to Him'
I awoke, it was sometime in the middle of the night. As I got my bearings, looked around to see where I was, I soon realized, I'm in prison and my first response, to God, was "Thank you God, Thank you God!" You may be thinking, how in the world could a person thank God when they woke in prison. I looked about me at the familiar surroundings, the small space I've called home for well over two years, and had never felt so relieved. I arose from my bed, went to the mirror, and feeling dampness within my eyes, I looked myself in the eyes and confirmed what I had thought. My eyes were red, I had been crying in my sleep. "Then the angel of the Lord said to me in a dream, 'Jacob' and I said, 'Here I am!'" Do you ever wake from a dream and either write it down or at least sit there, in the moment, maybe through the day, and contemplate the meaning, the message behind your dream? This dream that so abruptly woke me from a dead sleep, did just that. It has left me thinking and praying on it all day.
I was at my Dad's house, assumably the same age as I am now, and a message was delivered that my Mother was in the hospital and not doing well. I arrived at the hospital sometime later, to witness my Mom nearing the end of her life. She had cancer in her left shoulder, that had spread into her bloodstream and was shutting down her body. Soon after I arrived, she took her last breath. After hugging her for a while and crying fiercely, I ran from her room and into the arms of awaiting family and friends, continuing to bawl my eyes out, my family and friends consoling me and the only other thing I remember is, saying "She was all I had to live for!"
Then I woke up. Why was I so thankful to wake up in prison? Now you know. It had only been a dream. I may have woken in prison, but my Mom was alive, thank you Jesus! After thanking God, at least twice, words came to my mouth directly afterward. "I'd rather be in prison and have my Mom alive, than not in prison and my Mom not alive." I've thought of this dream through much of the day, as well as those words. I've gone as far as to appologize to God for making my Mom of such great importance, often moreso than Him. I know God knows our hearts, He tells us in Matthew 19:19 "Honor your Father and your Mother. . ." He knows the love I have for Him as well as for my Mother, yet I believe He was telling me, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding." (Prov. 3:5-6) Since my arrest and being sentenced to life in prison, one thing I've verbalized to myself and others, "My Mom and Grandma are all I have to live for." At times, that is how I have felt and it was only for the love of them and the grace of God that I have made it through those lowest of moments, since my arrest. Although one should love their Mother, The Lord has shown me, first to trust in Him. One of my greatest fears these last few years has been to lose my Grandma and Mom and unsure if I could handle that and continue on afterwards. The message to me, and I pass it on to you. God is in control, we are to trust in Him. Love your Mother and your Father, but God above both, trusting He will not only take care of them, but also us, if something were to happen. He is always there to love and take care of us. Most important, be thankful for what I / you have, no matter the circumstance. Enjoy and take advantage of each day we have with our Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents and Friends. Don't waste the time we do have left, with unnecessary worry and fear. "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Psalm 34:8) "Search me, o God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!" (Psalm 139:23)